Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thursday afternoon oddities

Today I got out an an uncharacteristically early 2 PM because my lab group is not scheduled to dissect this week. This is amazing, because school has only been on for one and a half weeks and I am already suffering from major sleep debt.

After leaving MSB (Medical Sciences Building), I headed for the subway. The ride takes me about 40 minutes to get to my final destination. When I first sat down, there was a newspaper on the seat next to me, folded open to a page containing a political editorial with the title "Because Harper says so, that's why". I assumed it was a Globe & Mail since it lacked the Toronto Star's characteristic colourfulness. At first it was quite amusing, even including a little song that Harper might sing if he was a bird:

I'm only a minority

My party, my priority

I give myself authority

To go for a majority

However, as I read on, I began to disagree profusely. This editorial was gushing opinions about how Harper's government does not act Conservative, how Dion hopes he can take a minority so that he won't have to implement the Green Shift, and how both the Conservative and Liberal party are still more or less the same. And as I thought about the dramatic differences in policy and (even more drastically) attitude between the two parties, and how in fact the very character of Canada into the future is on the line, I asked myself, "Can the Globe & Mail really be writing this drivel? Who wrote this crap?" So I glanced to the top of the page, and read National Post. Ah yes, that makes more sense. The National Post is that sad piece of writing masquerading around as a newspaper - the one that used to have radio commercials like, "Ding ding ding. Your door is ajar... Your door is not a jar. It is a door, plain and simple."

Apparently, because the paper is called the National Post, immigrants often confuse it as being the national newspaper. One time, my brother was talking to someone who had visited Vancouver and picked up a National Post who had commented something along the lines of, "Wow, I never realized that other Canadians hate Quebec so much." My brother, querying as to where this was coming from, found out that the person in question had mistaken the National Post in this manner and replied to the effect of, "Oh... no, that's just the National Post."

Anyways, after I finished reading that particular article, I put the National Post back down where I found it and proceeded to zone out. However, at one of the new few stops a lady got onto the train. She was pushing a stroller filled with baby items, but strapped into the seat was a stuffed animal. It was a little doggy in people clothes... but it was proportioned almost exactly like a real baby, so much so that at first I thought it might have been a real baby in a dog costume. I soon realized that a dog mask would probably suffocate a little child, the appendages were nothing more than stuffed blunt ends (as most stuffed animal paws are), and that the stuffed animal was not moving. But the body was so infant-looking that I got this eerie image of someone taking their baby and replacing their body parts with a stuffed animal...

In any case, my mind then began the process of rationalization. The stuffed animal in the stroller was probably some kind of gift. The baby was probably just missing for the time being, possibly at daycare. However, as we rode on, the "mother" took out some colouring pencils and a colouring book and began to fill it in. Every now and then, she would hold it up and show the stuffed animal and talk to it lovingly. She was speaking another language, which sounded like it could have been Russian, but since I don't speak a word of Russian it could just as easily have been gibberish. Anyways, by the end of the trip, I was pretty convinced that the lady was a few screws short of a full set.

So faced with this strange situation, what was I thinking? I thought about you, my readers (few though you may be), and how I have been boring you for weeks with my election-mania. I thought about how I needed to blog about this unique and unusual experience. And as I did so, I thought... well, my posts are really so much more interesting when I have pictures. I really wish I could take a picture of this so people can know what I'm talking about! Well, I was scared. Scared not only because it is slightly unusual, but also scared that the crazy lady would jump me if she noticed, since genuinely crazy persons are often unpredictable. But, for the sake of my blog, I took out my phone... and... started playing Brickbreaker. After a few minutes of losing miserably, I casually took a few test shots of my backpack and the subway door, in order to test the volume of the snapping sound and also to make those around me accustomed to the sound. Then I sneakily snapped the photo above (the faces of people have been blurred out to protect their privacy, though). Yes, I am so sneaky... I'm like a ninja!

Except... I hate ninjas.


Anonymous said...

"I casually took a few test shots of my backpack and the subway door, in order to test the volume of the snapping sound and also to make those around me accustomed to the sound."

wow expert stalker eh?

a_ndy said...

Dang, I wish I could disable that Anonymous option without requiring people to have an account, *cough* Terence *cough*.

med said...

yah very sneaky indeed :S

med said...

i agree with the 1st commenter i meant.. oh man he wants to censor comments