Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Week of FOOSH


In my final dissection, I fell off my stool.
Got not only a foosh, but I looked like a tool.
In two separate pieces my scaphoid bone lies,
I'm counting the days 'till the proximal dies.

Thinking of race cars, I tripped and I fell.
A foosh I did earn, both to show and to tell.
Had my median nerve destroyed by my lunate,
Now I can't feel my fingers or make my arm pronate.

On the Sunnybrook shuttle, fell asleep and collapsed.
Suffered foosh yet again, as the bus driver laughed.
In a Colle's type fracture, my radius did break.
Now my arm, quite unsightly, takes a "dinner fork" shape.

Drowsy from study, I fell off my chair.
A foosh was all I accomplished right there.
Dislocating my elbow was no easy feat;
and with median nerve damage, I had the odds beat.

While delaying my studies, I slipped on the ground.
When I picked myself up, another foosh I had found.
I popped out my shoulder, with some bones broke in full.
With his foot in my armpit did the doctor then pull.

Waking late in the morning, I fell off the bed -
So tired of fooshes, I wished I was dead.
My coracoclavicular ligament snapped;
The joint was displaced and my energy sapped.

My exam was tomorrow and the outlook was bleak,
But I'd learned 'bout six fooshes in only a week.
Still I felt like there might be yet more I might gain,
and that's when it struck me - Ow! Referred pain.


When nerds write poetry...

Glossary and Explanations

FOOSH - Falling On OutStretched Hand (A common injury)

Scaphoid - One of the bones of the hand; when fractured, the proximal part of the bone may lose its blood supply, causing that part to die

Proximal - Closer to the start of an appendage

Distal - Farther from the start of an appendage

Lunate - One of the bones of the hand; dislocation of the lunate bone can push on and damage the median nerve, which lies in front of it

Median nerve - Nerve of the forearm, responsible for, among other things, sensation to three and a half fingers and pronation

Pronation - The action of flipping your hand from palm up to palm down

Radius - One of the bones of the forearm

Colle's fracture - Fracture of the wrist joint causing the shape of the hand to resemble a "dinner fork"

Coracoclavicular ligament - Part of the joint between your shoulder blade (scapula) and collar bone (clavicle)

Referred pain - Pain that originates from an injury at one point in your body but is felt somewhere else

Why did the doctor put his foot in your armpit? With a dislocated shoulder, the muscles that usually hold your shoulder in place go into spasm. In order to overcome the force of these muscles, the physician may leverage his foot against the armpit in order pop the shoulder back into place.

Correction: While the median nerve is responsible for pronation, damaging it at the wrist would not actually affect this motion. The nerve would need to be damaged higher up for this to occur.

1 comment:

sandlot said...

Ah you're such a lyrical genius. You should become a lecturer and give all your lectures in rhyme and song.