Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Racism on the hill

Dear Mr. Harper,

I couldn't help but recoil in shock when you publicly declared to the American media that the nation of Iran follows an ideology that is "evil." Perhaps you missed the memo, but leaders of state don't usually use the word "evil" on other sovereign countries. It's provocative, unhelpful, and unprofessional. It's certainly not how you win friends and influence people.

The word "evil" is usually reserved for super villains, carnal sins, and trans fatty acids. What's more, generally only fascist dictators and propaganda states would every use the word "evil" in any kind of official capacity. Them and George W. Bush... but it's generally not good policy to steal words from grossly unpopular ex-presidents.

(By the way, you must already know this, but Bush's "axis of evil" term was coined by none other than Canadian speech writer, David Frum. You must be so proud of that... I know his wife was, because she apparently e-mailed all of her friends to gush about it.)

I know what you're thinking: Many Canadians probably do believe that the Iranian ideology is evil. But even if that were so, I generally expect my politicians to live up to the same standard that I expect my doctors to. That is, to temper their personal feelings with the moderating influence of professionalism. Wearing a sweater-vest is not sufficient.

And my dear Mr. Harper, while we're on the topic of personal feelings, I know it must have hurt yours when Khaled Mouammar, leader of the Canadian Arab Federation, called your immigration minister a whore. I sympathize. I know you and your buddies are not whores (big fat liars and bullies maybe, but not whores). But don't you think it seems a bit harsh to withdraw $447,000 in funding that used to teach immigrants English and job search skills over a personal vendetta? Or is this another farcical attempt at fiscally responsible "belt tightening"? Let's not forget that the last time you pulled that stunt, your minority government almost imploded in self-inflicted anguish.

What I'm trying to say, Mr. Harper, is that we already know you're a lying, bullying, short-sighted, opportunistic, and divisive jerk-in-the-box. But you're also the Prime Minister of our country. So I'd really appreciate it if you'd tidy up your house (of Commons) and act like a leader.

Yours truly,

P.S. I wasn't fooled by your sweater-vest routine, anyways.


sandlot said...

I'm jonesing for another federal election. Is it wrong that i think Ignatieff would make an incredibly good looking PM and that this will probably be my decisive factor in voting liberal for the following election? (well that, and how he's also quite the intellect)

Yes, it seems that i have acquired a little crush on the interim leader of the liberal party. sigh.

a_ndy said...

No kidding. I have to admit, I don't much like Ignatieff myself (though he's better than Harper). As a result, I'm really down about Canadian politics right now.

This is partially because I quite liked Dion (which really puts me in the minority... but not the minority government) and partially because Iggy is a bit of a brooding, slimy product of backroom politics. He's a real politician though, which I guess is what Canadians may need to unseat Harper. Did I mention that Ignatieff blinks way too much?

Have you seen this? An Ignatieff glamour shot I thought you might like: here | source