Sunday, March 1, 2009

Serum Andygens

With our impending Metabolism & Nutrition exam now literally just over the horizon, I've seen literally dozens of Facebook and Messenger statuses playing on serum laboratory measurements... from hyperstudynemia to hyposleepnemia. As for me, the results have just come back on my blood and urine Andygens...

Serum ---- (normal)

readiness --- 0.57 g/L (0.8 - 1.0 g/L) ↓

questioning --- 140 mmol/L (0 - 10 mmol/L) ↑

Urine --- (normal)

time --- 44 g/L (2-5 g/L) ↑

Interpretation: Serum Andygens demonstrate abnormal hyporeadynemia (hyporeadynemiaswollen brain cells), likely secondary to hyperquerynemia (an excess of exam questions), which overwhelmed the body's native compensatory mechanisms against exam-like pathogens. High risk of cerebral edema, coma, and death.

Urinalysis shows high levels of hyperchronouria - patient literally pissed too much time away.


Jerry said...

Serum Andygens is genius! mannn if only I had a name that sounded just as cool!

We should call you Andygens from now on :D

swirls123 said...

I like the image you used for this post.