Tuesday, September 15, 2009

100% means Certainty

Some people like to abuse the expression "100% sure." You see, being sure of something means that you are confident that it is true. 100% is perfection. If you're 100% sure, your confidence is perfect. There is no doubt. Black is black. White is white. This-thing-is-true-or-I'll-eat-my-shorts confident.

My Mom is part of the 100%-abusers Club. She often tells me that she's "100% sure" about things... until they're proven false. Sometimes they're true, but that's not the point. Personally, I tend to abstain from using superlatives like "100%" in arguments, and if I do... ooh boy, you're going down.

Today, I received a Facebook message from a Random Guy (name withheld). I was a bit confused because he had the same name as someone on my actual friend's list, but the hidden display picture tipped me off that things were not as they appeared. The message read as follows:

Are you also known as Vanky who went to OCI in Toronto?? I'm 100% sure you are. I can be reached at randomguy@emaildomain.com.

First of all, my name is not Vanky. Second of all, we have no friends in common (in fact, Random Guy only has 1 friend in total). I pondered this conundrum for a minute, then sent back the following reply:

I'm afraid you've overestimated your 100%. I think one should be cautious throwing around such certainties when you're looking for someone named "Vanky" and stumble upon someone named "Andy."

Could the real Vanky please stand up?

7 comments:

Joyce said...

Hahaha i've never had amusing FB requests like that before. :P

i am a 100%-abuser... i just like using the "percentage system" whenever i can, actually. 8D;;

Teddy said...

maybe its one of those automated spam-generating account that sets up itself as a fb account and uses a common name that just so happens to be the same as one of ur friend's. and if the user naiively adds that account as a friend, it'll auto-download all your photos and....... do some photoshop-ing tricks to make you appear in certain pictures..... and blackmail you....... no seriously they just probably want to steal your personal info that's all :)

Riona55 said...

Are you 100% sure that a real Vanky exists?

Jerry said...

Will the Real Vanky please stand up, please stand up!

a_ndy said...

I'm glad my punchline wasn't lost on everyone.

Michael said...

You messed it up because as Jrock notes, it's will, not could. ;)

Also, I have no problem with using 100% sure.

After all, even if I'm wrong, I can always counter with "well it's not like I said I was 110% sure..."

xP

PS. My word verification is "squingsm". Sounds like wrong....

a_ndy said...

My bad...