Thursday, February 4, 2010

Adopt-a-blog

...also known as Andy's Least Popular Chronicles.

So as the author of Chronicle, I get to look back on my writings from a rather unique perspective - that is, from a bird's eye view. I can look down and see a listing of each and every blog entry that I've written, 25 to a page. Being a slave to my blog, then, it fills me with great satisfaction having earned comments on each and every entry. A page with 25 entries and 25 entries with comments is like going on a killing spree in a first-person shooter - you just feel like you've done something right.

Conversely, flipping to pages where comments are lacking on some entries makes me sad. It's like things are going great until someone comes along and shoots you in the head. "Andy's killing spree was ended by Politics."

"What is one to do about these sad entries?" I pondered. However, having recently seen "adopt-an-animal" signs at the zoo or "adopt-a-road" signs on the highway, I had a brilliant idea. I could encourage people to adopt-a-blog entry! Now I realize that adopting an animal or a road is a real disappointment. You don't get to take the animal home and hug it; you don't get a road named after you. Adopting a blog entry is going to be way better. While you may not get to take me or my entries home to hug (unless your name is Sandlot, in which case, hugs are free), you will be duly recognized for your efforts in boosting my meagerly narcissistic ego.

For every undervalued entry that you are the first commenter on, you will receive a tag on this entry as well as the one you commented on (if you're not already). I'll also add a "This entry was adopted by [insert name here]" tag-line to the bottom in recognition of your heroic altruism.

To give everyone a fair chance to boost their label count (good for those who are competing against School, the cold-hearted bitch who rules my life), I'll only recognize five "adoptions" per person per day. Now go forth and multiply. Save the blog entry, save the world.

...

The Chronicle Humane Society abandoned blog entry listing:

- 1 -

Chasing those grey skies (Brutus 04/02/10)

What's it about?

An emo little ditty lamenting school, the weather, and lonely days

Why was it unpopular?
Cryptic, under-appreciated, and small on content

- 2 -

The knockout blow (Brutus 04/02/10)

What's it about?

Concerned over indications that my friends were using frank Google searches to conduct literature reviews, I polled them over their lit search methodology. Thankfully, most came out in favour of proper research databases, which I found gratifying.

Why was it unpopular?
Despite suggesting the idea in the first place, Kushima opted not to comment on the results. Others were just bored of the topic, having participated in the poll already.

- 3 -

Can you keep a secret? (Brutus 04/02/10)

What's it about?
I received a friend request via Window's Live together with discreet advice that should I choose to ignore said request, nobody would be the wiser. I indeed did ignore.

Why was it unpopular?
People obviously didn't find this as amusing as I did.

- 4 -

Love's suicide (Brutus 04/02/10)

What's it about?
After tragically wasting all my blogging time trying to record myself singing, I tried to distract my readers with the "Fight the Power" cat from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Why was it unpopular?
More people need to watch that movie.

- 5 -

The world unseen (Brutus 04/02/10)

What's it about?
A little Flash animation allowing you to zoom through the world from the macroscopic to the microscopic - truly impressive.

Why was it unpopular?
People have a tendency not to click on links.

- 6 -

Showdown of the Scholars (Brutus 05/02/10)

What's it about?
The poll from unpopular entry #2.

Why was it unpopular?
People were already bored of the topic, having commented the day before. Plus, after participating in the poll, they were loathe to put in even more effort and leave a comment.

- 7 -

Watch your mouth (Brutus 05/02/10)

What's it about?
Sexual innuendo.

Why was it unpopular?
Most of my readers aren't that interested in my work friends.

- 8 -

He's got balls (Brutus 05/02/10)

What's it about?
Ballsy pickup maneuver as attempted by the high school student working my lab.

Why was it unpopular?
As with unpopular entry #7, most of my readers aren't that interested in my workmates.

- 9 -

This is where science is made (Brutus 05/02/10)

What's it about?
Would-be entertaining anecdotes from my daily life.

Why was it unpopular?
They would-be entertaining, but clearly they weren't?

- 10 -

Adventures in Ottawa II (Brutus 05/02/10)

What's it about?
My trip to the Diefenbunker and burgers at The Works.

Why was it unpopular?
Insufficient entertainment value, plus would-be commenters had already left notes on my Facebook photo album of the same trip.

- 11 -

Holy rotten brains, Batman! (Brutus 06/02/10)

What's it about?
My summer research supervisor comments on the neurological status of a drunken stranger.

Why was it unpopular?
I should have learned not to blog about work unless it involved me being royally screwed over.

- 12 -

Monster Hunter Failure Unite (Brutus 06/02/10)

What's it about?
Why Monster Hunter Freedom Unite is a disappointment as a video game.

Why was it unpopular?
Nobody cares about video games.

- 13 -

He's back... (Brutus 06/02/10)

What's it about?
Me being unable to contain my enthusiasm for Mass Effect 2.

Why was it unpopular?
Nobody cares about video games.

- 14 -

It ain't over till the fat lady sings (Brutus 06/02/10)

What's it about?
Cheeky comment about my Brain and Behaviour course final.

Why was it unpopular?
Sometimes my humour is just underappreciated.

- 15 -

Beds are for sleeping... (Brutus 06/02/10)

What's it about?
Why Sandlot should stop using her laptop while trying to sleep.

Why was it unpopular?
I think most people missed the "...and adult games" joke.

- 16 -

Get your mind out of the ghetto (Brutus 07/02/10)

What's it about?
Why gangster culture is terrible.

Why was it unpopular?
I dissed up 50 Cent.

- 17 -

The conspiracy theory (Brutus 07/02/10)

What's it about?
An intricately weaved and at times humorous conspiracy theory painting the Conservatives as sneaking manipulators.

Why was it unpopular?
It was about politics. Furthermore, it actually asked for some baseline knowledge of what was going on in politics in order to interpret the majesty of my conspiracy theory.

- 18 -

Star Trek: Go boldly... (Brutus 07/02/10)

What's it about?
My first impressions after watching Star Trek XI.

Why was it unpopular?
Obviously, you felt like my asking you to leave a sentence to comment on my two-sentence blog entry was too much.

- 19 -

The antonym of finesse... (Brutus 07/02/10)

What's it about?
How much I hate the main character from the anime Linebarrels of Iron.

Why was it unpopular?
Blog about anime once? Might get away with it. Twice? Tough luck, Andy.

- 20 -

Pearson to Laguardia (Pt. VI) (Brutus 07/02/10)

What's it about?
Part 6/9 of my New York Trip - Central Park.

Why was it unpopular?
Most people got sick of hearing about New York, plus this entry included video games (which are anathema to comments).

- 21 -

Unforgettable love (Brutus 08/02/10)

What's it about?
My impressions of the Korean film A Moment to Remember.

Why was it unpopular?
You guys don't get as giddy about watching Son Yeh Jin as I do.

- 22 -
New York, New York (Brutus 10/02/10)

What's it about?
I'm going to NYC, bitches!

Why was it unpopular?
You guys are too cold hearted to offer well wishes...

- 23 -

Oh, oh, Gundam 00 (Brutus 08/02/10)

What's it about?
A seriously catchy anime J-pop song.

Why was it unpopular?
Things that my readers don't do: 1) Care about anime 2) Click on links 3) Care what music I listen to.

- 24 -

Terrorists win! (Brutus 08/02/10)

What's it about?
Me freaking out that we were all going to be radiation poisoned by radioactive tritium stolen from Wal-Mart.

Why was it unpopular?
"Cause we still got terrorists right her in the USA. The Bloods and the Crips and the KKK..."

- 25 -

Java Card Open Platform (Brutus 08/02/10)

What's it about?
Greatest album cover ever made; greatest Facebook fad ever.

Why was it unpopular?
Because most people can barely use MS Paint.

- 26 -

Being Canobamanian (Brutus 08/02/10)

What's it about?
Pictures of Obama with Mounties.

Why was it unpopular?
I can only imagine that the maple leaf Obama cookies were just too much for your brains to handle.

- 27 -

It's coming... (Brutus 09/02/10)

What's it about?
The first trailer for Mass Effect 2.

Why was it unpopular?
Despite how it sounds, it was not about sex.

- 28 -

Time well wasted (Brutus 09/02/10)

What's it about?

A day in the life of Andy.

Why was it unpopular?
I think recounting a whole day was just too much for you guys to handle. I've learned to focus in on one amusing anecdote at a time. Attention deficit and all that.

- 29 -

So young, and so untender? (Brutus 09/02/10)

What's it about?
Family docs get the shaft again.

Why was it unpopular?
Tagging Kushima is a waste of time, since he doesn't leave comments anyways.

- 30 -

From Raleigh with Love (Brutus 09/02/10)

What's it about?
My tiny plane to North Carolina.

Why was it unpopular?
Perhaps out of respect for the fact that this was a funerary trip.

- 31 -

In the Spotlight (Brutus 09/02/10)

What's it about?
Son Yeh Jin OMFG!!111oneone

Why was it unpopular?
Korea's most beautiful actress rendered you speechless.

- 32 -

Here comes the train... (Brutus 10/02/10)

What's it about?
Observing strangers ftw.

Why was it unpopular?
People did not appreciate my people-watching insights.

...

Okay, so there are lots of uncommented entries left, but this is taking me forever (I had no idea just how long this was going to take). If somehow all these entries got commented on, I would be more than thrilled.

Taking this look back in time has allowed me to realize that some of these entries are actually quite bad. I'm sorry, and I promise to do better. They can't all be winners, right?

6 comments:

sandlot said...

You know what would be funny? If no one commented on this post. Thankfully, I am awesome and will see to it that at least this post has a comment.

As for the other posts, I could go through each one and write a "lol" or maybe even a "rofl". But do you really want comments without any real value to them?

The best thing to do is disable comments for those posts. That way you can tell people that you just didn't want anyone to comment on them.

That's what I do at least.

I'm still trying to get my own blog comments back up to the double-digits.

Therefore ATTENTION READERS OF CHRONICLE: After you're done reading this blog, you should head over to:

ANOTHER AWESOME BLOG(Whose Link You Should Click)

and also comment on every single post. It could change your life.

/shameless plug.

*shrugs*

a_ndy said...

Damn, and here I thought you might rack your brain for something clever for at least, oh I don't know... five or so entries.

When you're taking on School, you gotta get your hands dirty a bit.

Still, I value your comment (though you're already tagged) and I admit, your blog definitely is awesome.

Teddy said...

u should tally up to see who made the most comments

brutalturtle.blogspot.com said...

me, I made the most comments. because I am the bestest reader of all.

new york, new york is broken

a_ndy said...

FIVE ENTRIES PER PERSON PER DAY YOU COPY-PASTE FIEND!

But thank you.


I'll still qualify other people who post content-specific comments on the posts, but otherwise, I'll activate these comments at five per day. I've fixed New York, New York.

shirls said...

I don't care to adopt a blog entry but I will leave you with the word verification for comment.

Word Verification: dearzi