Monday, March 29, 2010

Head. Desk. Okay!

I've been really tired lately. If you leave me alone for a few minutes, I'll likely doze off; and I take the opportunities to do so whenever they come. Therefore, putting head to desk on an arm-shaped pillow in class has become what is described as my "default position."

There are typically three things that can rouse my from my reverie:
  1. The name "Andy" called by one of my friends (50% effective)
  2. The lecturer, who has begun to speak (90% effective)
  3. The buzz buzz of my phone to Sandlot's texting (100% effective)
Because the classroom is a typically safe environment, I tend to dispense my corrective lenses and mobile phone on the desk beside my head - sparing these items from the rigorous clutching to which I subject my knapsack when I sleep on the subway.

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: pocket your phone and keep one finger on your glasses.

I arrived earlier than usual - the second one in the classroom. Because the first lecture was a review session, class attendance was set to max out at thirty percent at best. Empty desks all around me left fewer friendlies to watch my back, although in the absence of Mello and Yubin, many of my friends probably would have just played along anyways.

I initiated my usual ritual: Shed phone and glasses, put arm on desk, put head on arm. Okay!

I looked up several times to the buzz buzz of my phone in order to reply to Sandlot's morning texts (a custom of ours to bring a little cheer to a cloudy morn). On my third head-desk, I waited for the familiar buzz as my mind turned to semi-lucid dreams. When I finally raised my head to the sounds of a soon-to-begin lecture, my glasses and mobile were nowhere to be found.

I turned to Ragù, the classmate beside me. "Very funny," I offered drowsily, holding back my indignation. There's something distinctly undignified about trying to solicit your belongings back in a half-awake, half-blind state. Denial was all I got back.

It's a murder mystery. Who stole my glasses? Who stole my phone? I have my suspicions:

Suspect #1: Kushima

Reasons: He and his girlfriend, sitting diagonally behind me, were caught snickering whilst I was trying to find my glasses and my phone. It's possible that they may have merely observed the deed. The items were allegedly recovered from their desk, one row behind my own.

Suspect #2: Stewie

Reasons: Stewie was seated three chairs to my left. He could potentially have lifted said items on the way to his seat, since he had not yet arrived when I put my head to desk. Stewie is also a shit disturber.

Suspect #3: Ragù

Reasons: Ragù was seated one chair to my right and was thus the only suspect who was within arms reach of the stolen items. He was also the person who allegedly "found" them on the desk behind us. Ragù also not-so-secretly covets my beautiful, charming, and wonderful girlfriend Sandlot and likely begrudges our lively textual relationship. If you are reading this: that's slightly creepy.

Don't worry potential-felons - next time, I'll be watching.

6 comments:

Kushima said...

" Stewie is also a shit disturber."

You know your friend too well, Andy.

sandlot said...

1) I guess the solution to your sleepiness is to text you all the time. 24/7. Every. single. minute. Too bad blackberry lags. Oh well.

2) I guess the solution to thieving of your glasses and cellphone is:

this

and

this

Mello said...

hahaha! your blog entry made my day andy.

brutalturtle.blogspot.com said...

I wish I had classes with you Andy.



:)

we need to meet up sir? I haven't seen you for a month. it's unhealthy.

Michael said...

sandlot must have been bitten by the jealousy bug, because her "solutions" are going to make you

completely

unattractive

to

all females.


(you'll still have a soft spot in my heart though <3)

sandlot said...

@Michael:

LOL!

I must question your comment though. I mean, if you're saying that my "solutions" will render andy unattractive to all FEMALES, but he'll still have a soft spot in YOUR heart... are you indirectly implying that you are actually female?

Interesting...