Thursday, March 25, 2010

Let me be your doctor, baby


Ever since Sandlot and I went K, I've had Enrique's Hero stuck in my head. Coming off Pain Week, our multidisciplinary week of education on pain management, I composed this little ditty.

To the tune of Enrique Iglasias' Hero.

Let me be your doctor

Would you cough, if I asked you to cough?
Would you sit as I took your pulse?
Would you cry, if you saw a needle?
And will you ask for drugs, tonight?

Would you grimace, if I palpate your hips?
Is it mets? Oh please tell me this
You say you’d die, for the pain is tough?
Not on my watch, not tonight

I can be your doctor, baby
I’ll prescribe away the pain
Climb the analgesic ladder
Percs can take your hurt away

Would you swear, you’ll take your meds on time?
Or would you lie? Sell narcs on the side?
Have I been deceived? Should I not prescribe?
I’m not your dealer, not tonight

I can be your doctor, baby
I’ll prescribe away the pain
If you’re really just an addict
I will take your script away

Oh, I just wanna help you
I just wanna help you, oh yeah
Hurts to touch the sheets? It hurts all the time?
It’s neuropathic pain, tonight

I can be your doctor, baby
I’ll prescribe away the pain
I will treat your allodynia
This time with a T-C-A

I can be your doctor, baby
I’ll prescribe away the pain
Climb the analgesic ladder
Percs can take your hurt away
Percs can take your hurt away
An’ I can be your doctor

1 comment:

sandlot said...

This is actually really clever. Well done. You = enrique in the medical field. I don't know if you should take that as a compliment or an insult.