Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Don't you put it in your mouth

...that's what she said.

So this weekend, Sandlot took a trip back to our alma mater of Queen's University for a final spin around the neighbourhood of Kingston, Ontario. While at a friend's house, she was confronted with an uncommon conundrum. Left on her friend's doorstep had been an unsigned package of cookies with the label, "Hey girls, good luck on your exams!"

Unsigned and unnamed, a mysterious package on your doorstep? The prudent thing would be to a) not eat it or at least b) try to verify who had left it, right? Negative. Sandlot took it upon herself to eat almost the entire package of cookies and patted herself on the back after determining that they were some of the best baked goods she'd ever had the pleasure of partaking.

Now, at this point, I have to express concern. I'm rather enamored of my lovely significant other and I have to admit that this brazen and unashamed disregard for human safety has me distraught. After all, isn't not eating food of unknown origins right up there on the list of principles of common sense instilled from childhood such as, "Don't talk to strangers" and "Don't pick up needles off the ground"? I prefer my loved ones untraumatized, uninfected, undamaged, and safe. Kthx.

This ain't the Roaring Twenties anymore - this is an era of date rape drugs and anthrax laced mail items. Even if said delectable treats were safe upon delivery, who knows what could have happened while they sat there pinned to the front door?

What concerns me the most, of course, is that the tantalizingly excellent taste of this particular batch of cookies has only affirmed to my beautiful partner that she made the right choice in eating these anonymously-delivered sweetened goods. Next time, the truth may not be so delicious.

That's pretty much what Snow White did with the apple, and she was kind of stupid.

Let's face it - leaving anonymous packages in public places never does anyone any good.


Remember, boys and girls, never take anything from a stranger, and don't put things in your mouth when you don't know what they are. If you eat someone else's medicine, or some bad food, or some poison, you could get very sick. Always ask someone you love before put anything in your mouth.

And since your friends were caring enough to let you test out these mysterious edibles, you should replace the phrase "someone you love" with "Andy."

Because, you know, I would have offered the appropriate advice from the get-go rather than let you eat the contents of the package on my doorstep, cross my fingers, and release a sigh of relief when you don't croak.

But what do you guys think? If you found a package of cookies on your front doorstep without any label describing who it was to/from, would you eat it?

Leave your answer in the comments section below!

3 comments:

Joyce said...

You know how paranoid i am, so i have to agree with you on this one! O:

(Did you ever figure out who the cookies were from?)

sandlot said...

FOR THE DELICIOUS TRUTH CLICK HERE

Mello said...

I must say, sandlot, that's really sketchhhh!