Sunday, April 4, 2010

It's like Russian Roulette when you're placing your bets...

Image source.

There's a new and unhealthy trend building on the Internet, and it's called Chat Roulette. This website pairs you with a random stranger with which to webcam. Don't like what you see? Click next and move on. Anonymous, uninhibited webcam shenanigans with strangers.

Earlier this week, Sandlot tweeted the following thread: "Still haven't been on chatroulette... but quite intrigued now" along with the link to the following Tumblr address:

(Apparently, Tumblr is the new hot blogging site. Both Sandlot and Mello have started one in the last week.)

This blog contains screenshots and videos of hundreds or thousands of Chat Roulette encounters. Should you be fascinated? If fascinated means mortified, then yes. If fascinated means you actually want to try this ridiculous piece of Internet trash, then I have to beg you - please, no.

After extensive browsing of these screenshots, I can reliably comment on the types of people who frequent Chat Roulette. Let me describe the demographic:
  1. 8/10 are perverted teenage boys or old men.
  2. Of these, 9/10 will ask to see your tits.
  3. 5/10 males will be shirtless.
  4. Of these, 5/10 will be lying on a bed or couch.
  5. 1/10 will be naked.
  6. Of these, 9/10 will have their dick flopped out.
  7. 1/100 will jack off in front of you.
  8. 1/100 will be on the toilet.
Readers, if these are the people you want to interact with, I'm going to have to reconsider our friendship/relationship/acquaintance.
  1. 1/10 are girls or ladies looking for kicks.
  2. Of these 1/100 will acquiesce and show you their tits.
  3. 1/1000 will be masturbating.
  4. 1/10,000 will be having active coitus.
  5. 1/100,000 will be having it with an animal.
This is, of course, what draws the horny teenage boys and perverted old men.
  1. 1/10 just want to get another use out of their Fan Expo costume.
If I haven't managed to deter you with these statistics, then maybe Brutus can convince you with the following link: "Show me your boobs or the bird dies!"

Besides, if you thought you were bearing your bust anonymously, think again.

The only thing that might make Chat Roulette seem even remotely worth trying is this:
  1. 1/1,000,000,000 times you'll end up at a Ben Folds concert.
  2. 999/1000 people he chats with won't know who he is.


Joyce said...

AGHHH my eyes, shouldn't have clicked those links lol.
That's...pretty creepy.

Love the Ben Folds video though!

Michael said...

Sorry, but your statistics are WAY off. Those are only the funny pictures that people decide to post up... I would say at least 30-50% of the population of chatroulette is guys with their dicks out or at least on the way out.

Tycho of Penny Arcade says it best:
"Chat Roulette connects you, your webcam, and your microphone to another random stranger's all-of-the-above. Also, in many cases, their all-of-the-below. This second one happens a lot, out of nowhere you're watching a man you don't know and can only partially see furiously engaged in what might be called a "gripping single player experience." It's so commonplace in fact that it ceases to be in any way startling. It's practically the default, with all the energy and novelty of the number three combo meal."


and yes, I lurves it. It's like Omegle on crack.

Michael said...

Addendum: check out the Penny Arcade guys playing "The Game" on chatroulette (SFW)
PATV Episode 14

sandlot said...

"If fascinated means you actually want to try this ridiculous piece of Internet trash, then I have to beg you - please, no."

Damn. Should have read this before telling you that I wanted to try this out. Hahaha.

a_ndy said...

@sandlot: That's virtually impossible. The impetus for this entry was more or less your desire to try it. Besides, if you're going to do it, I'd prefer to be the one to do it with you.

Still, if Michael is to be trusted, the majority of people on Chat Roulette are dicks... literally. I do find these voyeuristic compulsions somewhat troubling. :P