Friday, April 16, 2010

That's what she said

I discovered this little gem while at post-exam karaoke on Monday. J-Rock and I were literally floored that BSB had a song with this title and that it was unknown to all of us (especially since J-Rock the Backstreet Boys' biggest fan). How could they have predicted that the song title for this innocent ballad about lost love would one day be reduced to a cheap dirty joke made by thirteen-year-old boys? Glorious.

That same night, I was teaching Mello a classic game to play with fortune cookies - adding "in bed" to your fortune. Like "that's what she said", the amusement stems from making an otherwise innocuous phrase deeply suggestive (and it almost always works). For instance, "Good health will be yours for a long time in bed." Guess whoever received that fortune will be saving a buck on Cialis.

I decided to try the same game with my newly discovered BSB favourite - making it as suggestive as its title by adding "in bed" to (almost) every line. Let's see how it works! [Commentary in square brackets]

There are people that say what you wanna hear in bed [the fakers]
Even on a raining day they'll tell you the sky is clear
When you really really love someone in bed [sexual soul mates?]
Am I right when I say that you want them near in bed?
And if you can't even tell them things that they wanna hear in bed

Always, forever in bed
All things she said in bed
Never say never in bed [said Tiger]
Those simple lies that she fed in bed [oh no!]
I will never leave you in bed [go again?]
All the love I thought she had in bed
But can you blame me in bed, no
Cuz that's what she said in bed
That's what she said in bed
She told me we'd see forever in bed
That's what she said, she said in bed, yeah

And there are people that say what they really mean in bed
She said she'd always be there in bed
She said she'd always care in bed
But just when you think that you can
Trust that someone you love in bed [first timer]
Tell me why in bed, or do you know
How stars can fall from above in bed? [the song's climax]

Cuz you made promises in bed
That you couldn't keep [performance anxiety?]
But you're not hurting yourself in bed
You're only hurting me in bed [a little too rough?]
Why would you say things that you really didn't mean in bed?
Oh how can I make you see
Just what you did to me in bed?
Oh, you said how much you really cared in bed
Just when I thought I was in love in bed
Girl, how could you dare in bed?
If I were you I could not lie even once in bed
To the face of the one
That I love so much in bed

Not too bad, eh? I think it's much better than the original.

Oh grow up, Andy.


Mello said...

3 things!

1) I saw fortune cookies at the school caf and wanted to buy one the other day!

2) I skipped class because I was shadowing again! I assisted on 3 surgeries and delivered a baby ON MY OWN this time as the main person! I love my life, but missed you guys!

3) You should def do the moro reflex this weekend. no joke.

Jerry said...

Sadly I later listened to the song and it ends up being that I DO know the song (like I can actually sing it lol) but I just didn't know the title!

I have to admit, your "in bed" addition to almost every line does make a world of a difference to the song!

I wish I had known about this fortune cookie "in bed" thing sooner cuz I feel like I have lost 23 years of possible usage of this awesome phrase!

p.s. the reason why this is an awesome cuz it combines "that's what she said" AND "in bed" into one. Should this become a new karaoke favourite? quite possibly YES

p.p.s. @mello: Congrats on the delivery!!!!!!!!!

sandlot said...

wasn't i the one who told you about this "in bed" business? when we were eating at asia gourmet in london?

Where's my credit?

a_ndy said...


@Jerry: I don't know what's more troubling - that you know the song well enough to sing it, or that you missed out on its epic title. In any case, I hope to hear you recite the revised edition at our next K outing.

@sandlot: Actually, I first heard about this "in bed" business while I was in New York last March, but you certainly did remind me.