Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Jaundiced!

Yesterday, my girlfriend Sandlot took the liberty of PhotoShop tweaking one of the pictures she took of me last week. The product came with a warning:

Sandlot: It might look saturated on your comp... because for some reason all my pictures look saturated on your comp.

Andy: I look like I have jaundice...

Sandlot: Yeah, I'm a PhotoShop n00b, mkayyy? This is the first time I've actually used these functions. You can desaturate it.

Andy: Haha, I don't know how to do that!

Sandlot: Really? You don't? I thought you were a PhotoShop pro.

Andy: Well, I usually don't saturate my photos...

Sandlot: HAHA!

Andy: Besides, I try to avoid altering colours, because it'll probably end up green.

It's true. With a mild case of red-green deficiency, tweaking colours that aren't labeled can be dangerous. I learned this in Grade 8 art class when I ended up mixing a perfectly "normal" looking skin tone (to my eyes) that turned out to be green. I learned it again in Grade 9 when I made a Flash movie with an unintentionally green Pikachu.

Even so, I decided to open my PhotoShop and take corrective action. I opened the Color/Saturation menu and given the cue that the picture was too "saturated" I decreased the Saturation. This was a pretty safe bet since this would reduce the intensity of the colour without altering the colours themselves. (I steered hard away from the Hue slider, since I didn't want to turn myself green or purple) I stopped when the skin intensity seemed about right with the caveat that I was taking a bit of a chance on the colour (seriously, fleshy tones are my enemy). I sent it back to Sandlot:

Andy: Here, I think I fixed it.

Sandlot: You sepia'd yourself...

Andy: No, I didn't! My shirt is still blue, and my hair is still black.

Sandlot: Well, you made yourself almost black and white.

Andy: You crazy, or your compy is... one or the other.

Sandlot: No, you are. What did you do? You took all the colour out! This is not your skin tone at all. Maybe it's because you're colourblind.

Aside from how uncool as it is to constantly invoke my colour impairment as an excusatory argument, my desaturated image is not sepia. While I admit that the skin tone may not match mine (I can't tell all that well), I certainly didn't suck all the colour out of it. For reference, I've added a copy that's actually been cast in sepia.

Readers, what do you think? Whose computer monitor (or eyes) are broken? Do I look like a sickly jaundiced inpatient through door number 1? Do I look like a colourless sepia'd fiend through door number 2? Does door number 2 look like door number 3? Let us know.

15 comments:

sandlot said...

Everyone should note the facial hair and tell Andy to grow it back out. I'll start the petition, you can all sign below.

Btw. The original doesn't look like the picture that I have on my computer. JUST FYI.

a_ndy said...

@sandlot: Well, I didn't alter it, so it must be your PhotoShop display settings that are busted.

I support this petition.

Signed, Andy.

Joyce said...

i have to agree with you on this one, Andrew! xD;;

(and i don't think i've ever seen you with facial hair! @-@)

Terence said...

If I go unshaved for a few days, people think I'm about to rob the bank :( - ie. it doesn't look good

Jerry said...

I need to see the rest of the picture (i.e. the upper half) in order to know if your facial hair looks awesome or possum.

sandlot said...

@ Jerry: POSSUMS ARE AWESOME.

Michael said...

For the good of the people, everyone should go here:

http://www.displaycalibration.com/

And get their monitor calibrated before using Photoshop.

Kthxbye

Terence said...

re: Michael

I know why you calibrate your monitor - not for Photoshopy obviously.

a_ndy said...

@Terence re: Michael

So that it doesn't look like he's watching Star Trek porn?

Jerry said...

@Sandbox: Hmm I see, you make a very good point, possums are indeed awesome, but are we basically saying that Antigen is an awesome possum?!? I am not ready for that kind of commitment!

@Androgen: HMM I didn't know such a thing existed. I sure hope a certain former female borg droid, and a certain female vulcan are involved...maybe a certain communication officer too...lol

@Terence: Agreed, definitely not for photoshop purposes

@Michael: Thanks for showing us all how to calibrate our monitors for "Photoshop"

sandlot said...

Re: @ Jerry's @Andy's comment: Like I told Andy, if Star Trek porn did exist, I'm sure the Vulcan "V" sign would bear a whole new meaning...

sandlot said...

ah so would the term "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY". bahahahahahaahaha.

a_ndy said...

@Jerry: So basically, aside from Seven of Nine, all the hotties are from Enterprise. This is just further evidence that Enterprise is not Star Trek, opting for a style over substance sex appeal route.

@Sandlot: Live long and prosper? :D

Michael said...

@sandlot
"REAM ME UP, SCOTTY!"

'nuff said ._.

Jerry said...

@Michael&Sandlot: "CREAM ME UP, SCOTTY!"

@Andy: The multiple hot people in Enterprise just means that the makers learned from the success of Seven in Voyager, and decided to try to multiply that by two.

@Sandlot: It's too bad Vulcans do not experience emotion normally. I think they would probably make for boring pornstars...unless of course they are in Pon Farr!