Friday, August 13, 2010

Death by car

I'm driving down Yonge Street at 1 AM. The intersection is a couple hundred metres away and the light is green. I'm in the left lane. Left of me is a left-turn lane. Left of that is a concrete island. Right of me are another lane and a right-turn lane.

Suddenly, off of the island step three men. Why would they do that? They obviously can't make it across the street before my car arrives. One steps in front of my car, looks at me, and then walks casually into the right lane... he's still standing in the middle of the road.

His two buddies stand in the left-turn lane, also in the middle of the road, indecisive. I hate jaywalkers who act as thought they own the road - as though traffic has an obligation to slow down for them. One of the two takes a step toward my lane. I gun the pedal and zoom between him and his buddy in the right lane. I imagine the whoosh of air as my car races past his face.

I swear I can hear a faint whisper of, "Fuck you, man" through the glass window pane.

Fuck you too. I know where my car is, but the maneuver must have been risky because I notice my heart is beating faster. One of these days, my insistence on guarding my right-of-way will lead to one of you fools splattered against my windshield. I will regret the police charges that follow. Don't take that step.

In the words of Goose from Top Gun, "We regret to inform you your sons are dead because they were stupid."

4 comments:

Mello said...

that sounds so dangerous!
but well deserved. for them.

but then again, who am i to speak. I jaywalk all the time, esp after coming back form kunming - where it is the norm rather than the exception. and with the number of people walking on the streets at any given time, norm means more people than i've ever seen at once in canada jay-walking together. oh no!

Joyce said...

Whoooooa i can't believe you did that. Ballsy. 8D;;

(i jaywalk all the time, should watch out for you lol)

brutalturtle.blogspot.com said...

currently listening - scott pilgrim OST

WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB!!!!! k I'm back and commenting on everyone's blog, I start with you. I have read all these posts. At least the jaywalker didn’t do the gangster “WUTT WUTT YOU GONNA DO” like that time I drove into yorkdale with you and those philipino gangster wannabe kids walked in front of our car. Then the guy with the hankerchief over his face started doing that. Just ignore it there are crazies in this world – why do I get the middle finger after someone cuts me off? There is no logic to their actions and without logic there can only be anarchy. No need to ponder over anarchy.

Angie’s name is cut off in the bowling picture : ( I was going to tweet my score with the picture and “Show you ladies how it’s done. Arrest warrant for lane one. This be statutory RAPE: *attach pic* “ but seeing how upset you were that day I didn’t tweet it. But you somehow posted the score on your blog anyway T_T

I made cookies in gr.10 for food & nutrition class, a whole tray. Kelvin and Mark took one bit and threw out the rest. Told me it tasted like raw egg and salt *bawls in a corner*. I should try cooking again though. Then there was the time I tried to make pancakes in class but my pancake eventually overflowed the entire pan and became one gigantic pancake. It was so heavy we couldn’t lift it off the stove.

I watched cars with you dunno if you remember.

Anonymous said...

As annoying as jaywalkers can be, you still shouldn't be pulling stupid shit like this.

You are a future physician.

You shouldn't be jeopardizing someone's welfare because you're annoyed. What if a patient pisses you off? Are you going to screw around with his medical care?

- A concerned MD