There are typically three things that can rouse my from my reverie:
- The name "Andy" called by one of my friends (50% effective)
- The lecturer, who has begun to speak (90% effective)
- The buzz buzz of my phone to Sandlot's texting (100% effective)
Today, I learned a valuable lesson: pocket your phone and keep one finger on your glasses.
I arrived earlier than usual - the second one in the classroom. Because the first lecture was a review session, class attendance was set to max out at thirty percent at best. Empty desks all around me left fewer friendlies to watch my back, although in the absence of Mello and Yubin, many of my friends probably would have just played along anyways.
I initiated my usual ritual: Shed phone and glasses, put arm on desk, put head on arm. Okay!
I looked up several times to the buzz buzz of my phone in order to reply to Sandlot's morning texts (a custom of ours to bring a little cheer to a cloudy morn). On my third head-desk, I waited for the familiar buzz as my mind turned to semi-lucid dreams. When I finally raised my head to the sounds of a soon-to-begin lecture, my glasses and mobile were nowhere to be found.
I turned to Ragù, the classmate beside me. "Very funny," I offered drowsily, holding back my indignation. There's something distinctly undignified about trying to solicit your belongings back in a half-awake, half-blind state. Denial was all I got back.
It's a murder mystery. Who stole my glasses? Who stole my phone? I have my suspicions:
Suspect #1: Kushima
Reasons: He and his girlfriend, sitting diagonally behind me, were caught snickering whilst I was trying to find my glasses and my phone. It's possible that they may have merely observed the deed. The items were allegedly recovered from their desk, one row behind my own.
Suspect #2: Stewie
Reasons: Stewie was seated three chairs to my left. He could potentially have lifted said items on the way to his seat, since he had not yet arrived when I put my head to desk. Stewie is also a shit disturber.
Suspect #3: Ragù
Reasons: Ragù was seated one chair to my right and was thus the only suspect who was within arms reach of the stolen items. He was also the person who allegedly "found" them on the desk behind us. Ragù also not-so-secretly covets my beautiful, charming, and wonderful girlfriend Sandlot and likely begrudges our lively textual relationship. If you are reading this: that's slightly creepy.
Don't worry potential-felons - next time, I'll be watching.