Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Up on D6


I know it's been quite some time since I've blogged anything substantial. With clerkship revving up, it's been a struggle to find the time to put anything creative to paper (metaphorically speaking). Most of the time, I'm just trying to balance life as I know it - stressing out, procrastinating, and doting on Sandlot.

Now on my first week of pediatrics, I find myself with a brief abundance of time (or rather lack of study pressure). And while I'm quaking in my boots about my soon-to-be-exposed lack of knowledge, I see myself as being faced with a simple choice: I could study to try to achieve some level of competence, or I could write a song about my time on Obstetrics & Gynaecology.

I think the choice is obvious.

At my home hospital, which we'll call "Sunnydale", the Gynaecology floor is D6. Every morning that I trekked up there, I couldn't help but let my mind wander to Far East Movement's alphabetically similar pop hit.

The inevitable result? The following lighthearted and irreverent would-be one-hit-wonder.

Poppin’ babies out of moms, like a fellow
Epidural got her out feelin’ mellow
T-A-H in O-R Nine, take that cervix
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6
Up on D6, up on D6
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6

Gimme that chart right now, now
Doin’ my tuck-in rounds, rounds
Ladies love my style, at OR table gettin’ wild
Get that IV runnin’, we get that drip and that drop
Now give me two more units cause you know we don’t stop

(4-1-6) Hell yeaaa
Suture up, su-suture up
Superficial vessels, they be bleedin’ like they deep
They be bleedin’ like they deep, bleedin-bleedin’ like they deep
Superficial vessels bleedin-bleedin’ like they deep

Poppin’ babies out of moms, like a fellow
Epidural got her out feelin’ mellow
T-A-H in O-R Nine, take that cervix
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6
Up on D6, up on D6
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6

Chillin’ on, chillin’ on High Risk, with pre-eclam-lam-tics
Girls in preterm labour, breaking water at the crib
This is how we live, every single night
Put that vacuum on the head, and let the babies fly

(4-1-6) Hell yeaaa
Suture up, su-suture up
Superficial vessels, they be bleedin’ like they deep
They be bleedin’ like they deep, bleedin-bleedin’ like they deep
Superficial vessels bleedin-bleedin’ like they deep

Poppin’ babies out of moms, like a fellow
Epidural got her out feelin’ mellow
T-A-H in O-R Nine, take that cervix
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6
Up on D6, up on D6
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6

It’s that breech baby bum, make you section that mum
Make you section that mum, section, section that mum
(First assist)
It’s that breech baby bum, make you section that mum
Make you section that mum, section, section that mum
(First assist)
Hell yeaaa, make you section that mum, section, section that mum
Hell yeaaa, let’s deliver that bum, deliv-deliver that bum

Poppin’ babies out of moms, like a fellow
Epidural got her out feelin’ mellow
T-A-H in O-R Nine, take that cervix
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6
Up on D6, up on D6
Now I’m feelin’ so fly up on D6